


Objection

by ConceptaDecency



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Arguing, Cardassian Culture, Cultural Differences, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Garak is dramatic, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Possibly Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 23:19:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18398393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConceptaDecency/pseuds/ConceptaDecency
Summary: “Good morning, Doctor, I—““Oh, it’s you.”“Obviously. Doctor, I—““Come to apologise, have you?”





	Objection

“Good morning, Doctor, I—“

“Oh, it’s you.” 

“Obviously. Doctor, I—“

“Come to apologise, have you?”

“Apologise for what? I’m here out of medical need and this is how you greet me?”

Julian sighed. “Okay, fine. Good morning, Garak. What seems to be the problem?”

“It’s my hand. It hurts when I do this.” Garak flexed his right hand open and closed to demonstrate, wincing as he did so. 

“Let me see. Hold it out. Like this. Open. Close.” Julian ran the medical tricorder over Garak’s hand. “Have you been doing a lot of repetitive or fine work lately?” 

“Yes. Embroidery for Lieutenant Fossa’s triplets’ naming dresses.” 

“Mmhmm. You’ve got a repetitive strain injury. I'll give you something for the inflammation and pain, and I’ll make you an appointment with Lellya for physiotherapy. Which we both know is a waste of my time, because you won’t go.” Garak blinked but didn’t take the bait. Julian pressed the hypospray to Garak’s wrist. “There. It should start feeling better now.”

Garak flexed his hand again and smiled. “Thank you, Doctor. It’s good as new.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll tell Jabara to give you some anti-inflammatories on your way out, but if you need anything stronger for the pain come back to the infirmary or let me know.” He crossed his arms. “I’d tell you to avoid that kind of work for a while, or at least take breaks, but the naming ceremony was two days ago, so I know you aren’t working on the dresses any longer. I also know your hand’s been bothering you for at least three days and yet curiously you only decided to come in to the infirmary today. So, Garak, if you have something to say to me, say it.”

“For example?” Garak raised his eye ridges and pursed his lips expectantly. 

“That apology would be nice.”

“Doctor, I have nothing to apologise for. In fact, you should be thanking me. I did my best to prevent you from making a regrettable mistake.” 

“‘A regrettable mistake’? Funny you’d call it that. I did it anyway, despite your little tantrum in Quark’s last night, and I have zero regrets.” Julian was cold as he leaned over the computer terminal to update Garak’s file. 

“You don’t need to tell me you did it, Doctor. You’ve got his stink all over you.” 

Julian looked up, startled, then fixed his expression back to a stern glare. “Nice try, Garak. I had a shower.”

“A sonic shower? I’m afraid that’s not nearly enough to remove the pheromonic scenting of a male Cardassian.” Garak opened his mouth and sucked in some air, tasting it. “Even if he hadn’t marked you, which he did. Hmm. During _and_ after. Bold of him.” Garak clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, which Julian knew was how Cardassians analysed scents, but which had an unfortunate similarity to the chiding ‘tsk tsk’ sound common amongst humans from his part of the world. “Oh, my, Doctor, you let him do _that_? He must have been pleased. We Cardassians usually reserve that position for partners we’ve known a little longer than a few hours.” 

“That’s enough, Garak.” Julian slammed his hand down on the console. The medical tricorder, which he’d placed next to the computer, skittered towards the edge of the desk. “This is getting a bit too personal.” 

“There’s no need to get angry, Doctor. I’m just letting you know. You humans may have a rather limited sense of smell, but I can’t be the only one who can tell what you got up to last night. What time did you start your shift?”

“Garak.” Julian raised a finger in warning. “It's time to stop. And I don’t believe for one second that you can tell that much just from how I smell.” 

Garak waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, I certainly can, Doctor. It’s all in the way the scent's distributed around the body. But not to worry. I have a body cleanser specifically for this very issue.” Garak took a small bottle from his pocket and held it out. Julian glanced down but made no move to take it. "Go on, Doctor, please accept it. It's specially formulated for tender-skinned species such as humans, if that's your concern."

The doctor's train of thought, playing out as it did in his face, was easy to follow. Was Garak telling the truth or not? He didn't want to give Garak the satisfaction of pulling another lie over on him, not when he was this angry at him, but on the other hand, if Garak was telling the truth, he had to do something about the smell, and fast. A lot of species had better olfactory senses than humans, and though he wasn't embarrassed about the night before, it was certainly unprofessional to come into work reeking of sex.

"Fine." Julian snatched the bottle from Garak. "Thank you," he added, without much warmth, as an afterthought.

"You're very welcome, Doctor. Just apply it as you would any other shower product, but leave it on for about five minutes before rinsing. With water, mind you. There's enough there for four or five washes." Garak grinned brightly. "Just in case you need it again."

Julian rolled his eyes. Garak was fishing for information, and he was not about to give him the satisfaction of an answer. “Is there anything else you wanted, Garak? I’m very busy.”

“Again, I do something nice for you and I’m treated horribly. Your friend from last night should have told you about the scenting, you know, but did he? No. So it was up to me. I could tell by looking at him that he was an inconsiderate boor.” 

“He was very considerate to me last night,” Julian said, just to irritate Garak. “And again this morning,” he continued, because Garak deserved it. 

This time it was Garak’s turn to roll his eyes. He’d picked up a lot of non-verbal human language from Julian and was very good at using it. “He nonetheless should have had the courtesy to tell you.”

“He’s young. Maybe he hasn’t had a lot of non-Cardassian lovers, so it didn’t occur to him he needed to tell me.” 

Garak let loose a wild laugh. “Doctor, please! Is that what he told you? I have rarely seen a more perfect example of a human fetishist.”

“Excuse me? A _what_?” Julian frowned. 

“My dear Doctor, don’t tell me you’re unaware of what they say about human men on Cardassia. I won’t go into detail, given that you’re at work. But the military man with a human boyfriend in every port is so common as to be a cliché. I’m sorry to tell you that you were just a notch on his phaser rifle. That’s an expression that means...”

“Yes, yes, we have that expression too. But so what, Garak? If what you’ve told me’s even true, what does it matter? When it comes down to it, he was just a notch on my, uh, phaser rifle, too. We had a bit of fun. I wasn’t expecting to marry him.” 

“Forgive me for trying help a friend,” said Garak, sounding hurt. “I would have thought you’d be pleased to have someone looking out for you.” 

“Funny how my friend has never acted like this before, but the moment I pick up a Cardassian, he’s suddenly interested in protecting my delicate heart. By being insufferably rude to a perfectly nice young man who certainly didn’t deserve it.”

“‘Didn’t deserve it’!” Garak’s voice achieved a dramatic pitch. “It’s as if you aren’t even listening to me! There’s a certain kind of Cardassian man, Doctor, who will go after you just because you’re human, and I’m sorry if you’re unable to spot one and even sorrier if my standing up for you offended you.” 

“You’re telling me I should be suspicious of any Cardassian man who expresses interest in me."

"Yes."

"Because if a Cardassian man is attracted to me, there’s a good chance he’s only interested in sleeping with a human.”

“That's right, Doctor.”

“Garak. By that logic I should avoid sleeping with _any_ Cardassian man, because he probably just wants to have sex with me.”

Garak looked pleased, like a proud teacher with a clever pupil. “That’s a bit simplistic, but yes, Doctor. I’m glad you finally understand.”

Julian threw up his hands. “And what if _I_ just want to have sex with _him_? So far the only reason I’m seeing that I shouldn’t is because it would upset _you_.”

“Doctor, of course it upsets me to see a friend taken advantage of!”

“Garak, he and I were ‘taking advantage’ of each other. Do you think I wasn't enjoying myself just as much as he was?” 

“That is so far from the point, Doctor, that I’m wondering if your Translator is working properly.”

“Okay, okay, there’s some kind of cultural issue going on here. Or something.” Julian raised a wry eyebrow, which Garak ignored. “But suffice it to say, Garak, it’s my personal life and you don’t get a vote. I'm sorry if it bothers you, but as long as I'm single I'll sleep with whomever I want.” 

Garak held up his hands in resignation. " _Fine_ , Doctor. Fine," he huffed. "If you're foolish enough to disregard my expertise on the matter, there isn't much I can do about it. Just tell me one thing -- are you going to see him again?"

"You never know," said Julian. He tried to stay firmly annoyed, but his mouth was twitching into the beginning of a smile. The situation was so absurd, and Garak in such distress, that he couldn't hold on to his anger. "But I don't think so. We didn't exchange contact details, and I don't think the _Plekt_ 's due to return to DS9 anytime soon."

"Good,” said Garak, but he still looked a little unsettled.

Julian exhaled resignedly through his nose. “Garak, if we’re finished here, I have other patients,” he said, but he was warmer than he’d been all morning. “Do you want to get lunch later?”

Garak perked up. “I’d be delighted, Doctor. Quark's at thirteen hundred hours?"

"Don't you think you'd better stay away from Quark's for a few days? You put on quite a display last night."

Garak gave a dismissive _pfft_ and waved the question away. “It was hardly a _display_ , Doctor. However, if you insist, we can go to the Replimat instead. But please, shower first, will you? And use the cleanser I gave you? I couldn’t swallow a mouthful otherwise, with that objectionable tang you’re marinating in.”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't feel too sorry for Garak. He's being a stubborn idiot. If he wanted to be Julian's first Cardassian he should have just made a move ages ago.
> 
> I explore some of the concepts touched on in this work, scenting and Cardassians with human fetishes, in [How We Land There](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15723543). It's a bit sexually graphic but has a happier ending, in case you need a palate cleanser.
> 
> I love your comments, feedback, and kudos -- please don't hesitate to leave them, even if you're reading this years in the future!


End file.
